Top Ten Reason Why I Had To Leave Work 4 Hours Early

It’s one of those Fridays guys! I want to make a run for it so badly. I’m just not feeling today’s movement. Here are a few excuses I wish I had at my disposal.

10. I thought the build was on fire, by the time I realised it wasn’t, I was already on the highway.

9. There was load shedding on my laptop. Eskom has it out for me.

8. My girlfriend/boyfriend was threatening suicide if I didn’t come home.

7. Fuck you I got a new job.

6. My watch is 4 hours ahead, I totally forgot, so sorry.

5. I’m allergic to traffic. It can kill me, I barely made it this morning.

4. I’m a Gupta…

3. I left my bedroom door unlocked, my Gremlin was going to get exposed to sunlight and die.

2. I was here in spirit. I don’t understand what the problem is.

And the number one reason I had to leave work 4 hours early.

1. Apartheid is over, deal with it!

The DA made a controversial statement. Knowing fully well that blacks would get excited. I am said excited black. No one cares how honourable the intentions were. They MUST have known that a black like me (and many others) would get excited! Stop exciting blacks, because you want some air time on the interwebs.

How would you define a dick if we didn’t have Zapiro?

I’ve been aching to blog for a minute now, but I had nothing to say. I still don’t have much to say really. But someone got called a dick and some people don’t think it’s fair.

Initially I wanted to pontificate about holding those in public office to a higher standard, but that’s a tired speech considering the people WE have in public office. Plus it will raise my blood pressure. I want to talk about the bare minimum: not being a dick.

Let’s say my name is Sizwe. I’m your average Joe, married with kids. I then go on to fuck my friend’s daughter and end up impregnating her. Would you call me a dick? Would your answer change if I had three wives? What if I was president? Am I still a dick? Would you feel sorry for me if a political satirist called me a dick? What if there was a cartoon mocking me in a leading national newspaper? Are you feeling sympathetic yet?

We can all agree, Zapiro felt no such feeling, albeit for different reasons. I think we can all find different reasons to call different people dicks. Mine is fucking your buddy’s daughter when you have three wives at home(s). It doesn’t make you a bad person…but it does make you a dick!

What is your definition of a dick?

A picture is worth a thousand words.

JZ is a dick

Refugees on a rampage, “Helen Zille’s a monster”

I wasn’t going to do this, but seems like I have to for myself and my mate @Miss__TC because we are tired. We choose to think about things before we have a passionate reaction that will be completely unproductive in the greater scheme of things.

Yesterday Helen Zille drew criticism for tweeting that pupils who relocate from the Eastern Cape are education refugees (or rather the ones who go to the Western Cape). When I first heard of this it was on twitter. It was said like this “Helen Zille, “The Madam” said that my people in Cape Town are refugees. Voetsek racist bitch!”. Quite a strong statement…so naturally I was concerned. I went online and I tried to find out why this person was so upset. Turns out she did in fact say this.

These are some of the headlines:

“Outrage at Zille’s ‘refugee’ comment” Mail and Guardian

“War of words over Zille’s refugee tweet” IOL

“ANC outraged at Zille’s refugee comment” City Press

“Zille`s refugee remarks smack of racism – SADTU” PoliticsWeb

And that’s it! This is what was covered in the news. I’m going to put it out there right now. I’m no fan of Helen Zille, I don’t hate either. I understand that her statement can be seen as careless, and fack maybe it is careless. One thing is sure it is certainly not going to win her any of black votes that she really needs for her agenda. But here’s the thing…here’s the BIG issue here…The failing education system in the Easter Cape. Can we give one minute of thought for that? That is why she said what she said isn’t it? Very few people spoke about that.

I wasn’t going to do this either but here I go. Again I’m no fan of Helen Zille.

refugee
-n.
1. a person who flees for refuge or safety, esp. to a foreign country, as in time of political upheaval, war, etc.

The fact is that the situation in the Eastern Cape is dire. Leaving a dire situation is fleeing. People are fleeing the Eastern Cape to seek better education else were. The province is suffering from sclerosis and its people are suffering. No one spoke for those people yesterday. We would rather go on a witch hunt for Helen Zille and call her racist. The ANC wins again. No one is calling the fat lazy cats looting the Eastern Cape government the pigs that they are. No one is charging those people with *insert appropriate noun* (whatever noun that is, it surely must be worse than RACISM since it has a DIRECT impact on your own people).

When I put up a status on facebook regarding all of this hoopla (@Miss__TC said it, because that is exactly what it is) a few of my friends commented. One friend of mine Zethu, a Doctor doing her internship in Pretoria, said that people aren’t only going to the Western Cape and it’s not only education. She gets several patients in Pretoria from the Eastern Cape coming to seek better health services too.

Excerpt from the Mail and Guardian:

“There mustn’t be a presumption that all learners who’ve left the Eastern Cape have gone to the Western Cape. To say all Eastern Cape learners go to the Western Cape is wrong because they do go to KwaZulu Natal and Gauteng.” Allan Taylor, an independent education specialist.

Look fact is every province is allocated a budget based on its needs and the people it needs to server. The Western Cape is the only province that is not under the control of the ANC. Gauteng and KwaZulu Natal have their own people to service, when their load is increased the welfare of the people in those provinces is compromised. But hey, but all those provinces are being run by the same political party. I’d like to think that if The IFP ran KZN Mangosuthu Buthelezi would certainly have something to say. Resources are limited everywhere. If people leave their province is shouldn’t be because their province is failing. These are the issues!!!

I urge you all to always keep an open mind. Don’t just take things as they are. Political rhetoric has an insidious way of driving us so far away from the things that really matter. The narrow minded hullabaloo everyone made yesterday over Zille’s statement has taken away from any potential conversation that could’ve been had about a kid in the Eastern Cape who will never get to start a blog and get to have an open mind.

“In our future you wouldn’t look twice” #GTFOH

DASO knew that this here poster would cause a stir and why wouldn’t it? Its two attractive naked people with contrasting skin tones. For crying out loud, it looks like a Jean Paul Gaultier perfume spread in a magazine. And the slogan, “In our future you wouldn’t look twice”. Like interracial relationships have anything to do with politics, as symbolic as it may be.

I would’ve loved this picture if it wasn’t blatantly used for ballyhoo. I think it’s in bad taste. Like when Helen dresses like a Soweto street vendor to “get down” with the people. Using shallow differences is not the way to sway people. Or me rather, it is best to speak for myself.

If a picture is worth a thousand words than The DA has for me said enough for the next few weeks. I don’t know if The ANC has responded to this poster yet, but I would urge them not to. This is D-grade fodder for bloggers like me. Shame on me for giving this attention, but it’s what you wanted so here it is DASO!

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as a joke. – Will Rogers

What Racism? I just hate you

My very controversial buddy @LTqha was quoted in an article because of that thing Helen Zille and Simphiwe Dana do every time their periods are synced, well pretty sure Helen don’t get them no more, but whatever. Yeah, I’m being crass because I’m over those two. Anyways I was in Cape Town for five years and I hate it when dem call Cape Town a racist city. I also don’t like that they blame it on Helen Zille, even though I don’t care much for her.

I’m not even sure what racism is anymore. Maybe the word needs to be redefined for our generation. It’s a strange kind of fear that can “sometimes” turn into hate. I’m not trying to talk about the meaning of the word though. Just want to give my usual two cents.

I remember in high school. I was out with my friends at Steers, chilling outside having a late lunch. Then this van pulled up with four huge Afrikaans boys in the back. These guys were massive, they looked like they used springbok horns for tooth picks, I kid you not.

Then the other day I went jogging. Four black guys were on my side of the road, they all looked pretty “gangster”. I crossed the road to get out of their way, again…I was terrified.

So Racist

I had a harsh exchange of words in Pretoria with some old bitter white hag.

Then there was another time at the airport when this Nazi looking bald guy bumped me with his trolley and gave me attitude about it.

Not so much

Then there was this one time I got crappy service at a KFC in the hood from an ignorant black, because my English has a twang.

Then I there’s the shit I have to get from all other black people looting our government.

But it’s not just me. Limpopo people have to deal with xenophobia and David Kau jokes.

People do this to people. Why is it so important to emphasise colour? People are shitty towards their own fucking families. But when black/white is harsh on white/black, OH DEAR LORD its racism! It’s disgusting!!! I’m not making light of racism. That’s NOT what I’m trying to do, but this is South Africa we need to be colour blind, especially in cases where the other person/people see too much colour.

Okay, back to Cape Town

They paint Cape Town like its Alabama in the 1800s and it’s not. Cape Town has the highest concentration of white people. Truth is some of them ARE racist. Why does it come as a huge surprise to people? Cape Town is old, rich and white. These people cannot be reformed. I don’t know if Helen Zille is one of these people, but she and the DA cannot reach these people with pamphlets on tolerance and screenings of Sarafina. We must just wait for them to all die or move to Australia. Bottom line, the City AWESOME and with some dickery from people who happen to be white. Me I tell them to fuck off and just get on with it.

P.S. People who have the beeeeegest problem with Cape Town go there like once a twice a year. But people who’ve beeeeen living there absolutely love it.

P.S.2 Everyone who’s affiliated with that Asoka place…yeah, they’re going to die a long terrible death.

P.S.3 Happy New Year

First we were, Then they came, We

First we were, Then they came, Now we wait

First we were

An existence of Adams and Eves

In our Eden, with our God

In beauty we lived, in peace we loved

It was lush, it was Paradise

Then they came

Blood was shed, men were slaughtered

Pain was invented, suffering was created

For the love of Eden we fought

Lives were lost and freedom restored

Now we wait

Allowed to dream we found hope

A gift it was, we rejoiced

But death and hunger stayed with us

We are still struggling, stagnant and bleeding

We were

They came

We wait

As the counting draws to an end. ByeBye Local Elections

These election have opened my eyes to a few things that I guess I’ve known for a long time. The ANC is running our country and spending our taxes. They’re capable and they have resources. We give them power, we are the people. We must have opinions and we must voice them. I’m feeling like a bit of a heretic tonight. So most of the following will not be in my humble opinion. And again I say, I am not anti ANC or pro DA.

Our people are still shaken by apartheid. We’re still crippled by it. In the way we think, in the things we say, in how we act and more importantly how we fail to act.

Riding on what Allister Sparks calls “The gatvol factor”, isn’t going to win votes. Opposition parties are, and reasonably so, under the impression that people being gatvol of bad services will win them votes. The ANC has a weapon that surpasses the gatvol factor. Its called devotion.

Today someone  tweeted “Not about race? why do all white voters PROUDLY vote DA and black ppl r made to feel stupid for voting ANC w/ words like blind”. I replied to this tweet by quoting what an ANC supporter said on telly, “If u are ANC, u stay ANC. If u my brother , u stay my brother. YOU DONT JUST CHANGE AND BECOME A WOMAN”.  I can’t speak for the man who said this, but I can’t help but doubt how sober his thoughts are, drunk on devotion. People are not stupid for voting ANC, they are stupid for such utterances. The ANC is aware of such banter and does nothing to discourage. I’m willing to go as far as to say the ANC encourages it. ANC supporters are not in good company, and the ANC has no qualms with this. Don’t even get me started on the violence that nearly broke out in the Midvaal when the DA won.

The socio-economic status quo of the ANC strong-holds speak volumes of why these places are ANC strong-holds. I wonder how much the DA has done to actually try to win over these constituencies. So much effort goes into winning the money constituencies (the big metros). Does the DA really care about:

• The ANC is leading in Aganang [Moletji/Matlala] with 86.5%.
• The ANC is leading in Ba-Phalaborwa [Phalaborwa] with 82.72 %
• Blouberg The ANC is leading Blouberg [Bochum/My Darling] with 92.08%

Granted these are small municipalities, but how much does the DA care about them? I deliberately chose from constituencies in Limpopo because it’s the furthest province from the Western Cape, a DA strong hold.

Last word

A question that I should have asked myself at the beginning of the elections: How do you win votes and influence people? I have no idea. Hoping that I’ll be blogging in the next elections, I’ll open with this line.

P.S. Every election the DA gains ± 2% of votes. So in roughly ±27yrs (national and local election, ±9 elections) Jesus is coming. If you believe the words of your president. Hehe.

Politics should never be about brand loyalty.

Obama killed Osama, The Disney version

Who put the terror in terrorist killer?

Obama!

Whose daring deeds impressed the rednecks?

Obama!

Isn’t he black?

No one’s darker.

Isn’t he mean?

Our cruellest darkie

Obama, Obama,

Obama, Obama

Obama, Obama