I don’t cover my mouth when I cough

A sniff here and a cough there
Fuck me, flu is that you?
Chemically medicated
On drugs and vices, x and y

Alas my winter period has arrived
With mucus tampons up side my nostrils
I’m leaking and sore
I hate everything!

But doth I mindeth?
Dem meds be good to me
Inspiring this verse I wrote
For this damn flu.


Seven Days of Sex: Day Two

Drugs, Booze and Sexytime

Yoh, okay so I’mma tell you right now, please watch out for spelling errors. I had to get in the mood for this one. So yeah, I had me some wine to get inspired by this here post. So like I’m going to manage to make sense, but my grammar will be on that Michael
J Fox vibe, including spelling errors. Bear with me. I joke…or not;)

Drugs, Booze and Sexytime!!! Yes friends, and others (I might love you some day), some of us are as guilty as Charlie Sheen.

Ever since that scene from Basic Instinct (I was 15 when I watched that movie), when Sharon Stone asked Michael Douglas, “Have you ever fucked on cocaine Nick?”, I’ve always been curious. I’ve always said that “curiosity gave the cat herpes” I’m not that cat, I’ve never fucked on cocaine, in case you’re wondering.

My curiosity got worse when *insert friends name* told me to “Fuck on weed. It’s the best.” Weed is more accessible, not as harmful as cocaine and its cheaper. But I’m not going to say whether I’ve fucked on weed or not (the internet is too pubic, even for me). I’ll let you decide.

But yeah, I can speak for booze. Most of us can. So here we go.

“It’s a bad idea, but it’s not the worst thing ever”

It’s naaaaice!!! But it can go incredibly bad, it really can shem. When you just wake up and feel like you were raised by Sondeza performers.

Look its otherwise naaaaice. But, it’s a bad idea when you aren’t taking care of number one, that’s you. You need to first think about yourself when getting yourself in this hot mess of high rewards. It’s the only way to wake up feeling like a better person. It’s not that deep.

  • Use protection.
  • KNOW what you are doing.
  • Tell a friend beforehand (OPTIONAL, some friends want to be heroes, not mine though).
  • Be willing to acknowledge the dirtiness of it all. This can be done, you’ll be fine.
  • You are not Julia Roberts, life is not a movie. Have focus, sex is fun fantasy that needs strict reality.
  • Random dryness. Shem, I am team lube, but it can be an inconvenience.
  • Erectile issues (this is when you go home). You’re no one’s mother.

I am however talking about roulette sex. When it’s random, and you’re not sure when it’s going to happen again and the barman is warming up to you. There is another kind.

“I’m in a relationship and I’m kinda diggin on this person”

ALL BETS ARE OFF!!! Yeah, I am a huge believe of Requiem for a dream good lovin. There is still room for it being a bad idea, this is because drugs and booze are not our friends. Some of us are still for real about protection, whether you’re in a relationship or not.

Okay enough of the bad. Hehehe.

  • It’s really NAAAAICE.
  • It’s to the point, it’s direct.
  • Even when it’s bad, it can be hilarious. I’ve had hilarious sex. You can laugh.
  • It’s survival of the fittest.
  • Its rude honesty, coz it’s selfish (you morph into that person you need to be).
  • Potential for those true colours Cindy Lauper sang about.
  • Leaves very little space for inhibitions that would’ve been there otherwise.
  • It can actually lead to “that love” story, sometimes.

My favourite about such is that morning sunshine that comes with the “I know what you did last night” smile. It’s also met with that hangover that you’ll go through together. So it won’t be as bad, and you’ll actually enjoy most of it. It’s all too silly, but sky high with that cute factor.

“It’s okay”

If it sucked, it sucked. If you didn’t use protection and it’s a proper WTF situation, it’s also okay. Okay, I’m not being generous with my ”okay”. It’s only okay if this only happens ONCE in NAVY BLUE MOON (less frequent than that BLUE MOON). If you’re renowned for this kind of behaviour, you’re not doing great, speak to someone. In life sometimes you’re the windscreen, and sometimes you’re the bug. If you’re on the latter side of things, it’s okay. Pick up the pieces, there aren’t that many. Life
moves on.

Again, don’t have sex if you aren’t willing to deal with the inabilities/unwillingness of some people to do certain things.


I’ve always been soooo jealous of those people who can lie to themselves. I’m brutally honest with myself, but I can pretend. It’s not as bad a lying. Have you lie. Enjoy your pretence. But know!!! Always be aware. That’s the take home message.

I was hoping to get really pornographic with this post. I guess I’m not yet there. I don’t even have an idea for Day Three at his point. Hopefully this will change.

Drugs, Booze and Sexy time. Always be aware.

“We are adults, the next step is adultery.”

“If it feels wrong, it must be right. Consequences might or might not happen.”

“Team Redwine and Lube.” Holla at @NswanaM @tisjane2 @lesala_m and Stacey

“Erectile dysfunction? He’s not that into you”

We’ll see what happens on day three. Until then; no balloon, no party.

Ooooooh, okay. Next post: Disease, it happens.