Top Ten Reasons Why The Dalia Lama won’t be coming to SA

I haven’t done a Top Ten List in a very long time, I’m out of practice. Here goes nothing.


Top Ten Reasons Why The Dalai Lama won’t be coming to SA


10. The government is Catholic and the Pope is in on it. He can’t stand this guy.

9. He has an infectious disease that will kill us all.

8. No one likes Tutu. They all want the party to suck.

7. All those with BEE/Corruption sin will have fatal diarrhoea if they stand 50 meters near him.

6. The Lama banged one of Zuma’s wives.

5. He’s old; no one wants to deal with the PR of him dying here.

4. China promised to assassinate every DA member if we kept him out.

3. He’s trying to smuggle opium into the country.

2. It’s all a rouse, he doesn’t really want to come here, he just wants to make China seem even more evil.

And the number one reason why The Dalia Lama won’t be coming to SA

1. “The Dalai Lama” is not an acceptable name on official Home Affairs documents and he refuses to give up his real name, Ping Pong Thatha Pow Oh.


Top Ten Break up lines

10. “I’m in love with someone else.”

9. “Wow, you thought we were dating?”

8. “It’s not you, its me.”

7. “I need space to grow.”

6. “Lets take a break.”

5. “You deserve better.”

4. “You’re a serial monogamist, and its suffocating me.”

3. “You got lazy, and I couldn’t stand for it anymore.”

2. “We don’t make love like we used to.”

And the number One Break up line.

1. “If its meant to be, we’ll find a way back to each other.”