You walked until I couldn’t see your face anymore

From the strangers in our homes. To the strangers we call our friends. From the faceless forgotten lovers returning, to those we share our beds with.

It’s that unfamiliar feeling, that leaves you on the edge of madness. Needing to go through a list to interpret someone’s actions and inactions. Their words, spoken and unspoken. The desperation that some past knowledge can make these strangers familiar again.     


The more you care, the longer the list. Riddled with arguments you make on their behalf. Defences by you, for them. Excusing every negative with negated positives. The biggest item on the list for the religious is God. The married religious, I truly weep for.

When the list burns you, hope heals you. Until disappointment cuts you and the cycle repeats itself.


You give it time…you give them space. But time ages and space is empty. So you are left in the abyss with something old and lonely.

For a while you survive by feeding off the old to sustain the unrecognizable new.

That simply will not do. We have to keep creating new life. When we can’t…then it’s time to go on a dangerous quest of death and rebirth.


Then there are those times…when the stranger is you.

Not inspired by the famous Tamia song…might as well be though.


Top Ten Things Mistresses Say

First top ten in ages!!! Last one was in October.

10. Your wife doesn’t have a gun does she?
9. Lady, what I’m doing to you, they did to me. You must just be strong.
8. Please don’t talk about your wife when you’re with me, makes me feel cruel.
7. The kids adore me, they call me aunty Nomonde.
6. What did you say your husband’s name was again?
5. If he was your man, he wouldn’t be here with me.
4. He’s going to leave his wife to be with me.
3. Sharing is caring.
2. #nowplaying Kelly Price, As We Lay.
And the number one thing mistresses say
1. OMG, he’s married? I had no idea!

Proper blog on mistresses coming soon.

“For better and for worse” Are you kidding me?

“For better and for worse” Are you kidding me?

“…I don’t”

If you strongly believe in marriage and are traditionally fanatical about it, this is not for you.

The other day I heard on the tweet machine that Kim Kardashian got divorced after 72 days. I don’t care for Kim Kardashian, but her divorce got me thinking of the institution of marriage.

I used to joke and say the only reason I believe in marriage is divorce. It’s a joke…but it’s not funny. I’m not laughing anymore. My buddy Nolo Phiri, once said something inspirational on Facebook that really struck a chord with me. She said (paraphrasing) “50% of marriages end in divorce (not an accurate stat but whatever), Ray Mcauley is getting his second divorce and infidelity is rife.
But it is gay people who compromise the sanctity of marriage. Really?”. Now here I am asking, what sanctity?

‘Do you think you’ll ever get married?’ isn’t even a question worth asking anymore; in fact it’s zoned itself into the lowest category of small talk topics, along with the weather and Zuma’s wives. Truth is marriage doesn’t matter, in real terms. Granted there are those of us (excluding me) who still have fantasies of a Top Billing wedding, followed by a flourishing marriage and a Stepford nuclear family, but in “real terms” it doesn’t mean much anymore. I say real terms because I believe in perception when it comes to the systems created and conditioned by society. Perception is reality when it comes to measuring society’s views on something ‘important’. From where we stand marriage seems to be a ‘beautiful’ union plagued by disjointed randomness inspired by foolish optimism and sometimes even desperation with scanty ambition…all leading to misery and untimely divorce. That was a
mouthful, bear with me.

I have a few married friends actually and now my buddy @ngwanamosadi proposed not too long ago and she said yes. I believe in their love (the miracle), as to their marriage (the contract), I’m not convinced, I guess I’ll have to wait and see.

As for me I’ll be honest, I’m a little damaged by this marriage thing in the late 90’s my home was a halfway house for women broken by divorce. I don’t know if I will get married, like I said it doesn’t matter and it’s not important. I’ll tell you now though; I’ll never ever marry for love. I’ll do it for fun, money, thrills and just to see. I cannot trust a dying institution with my heart.

P.S. Definition of marriage “legal union of a man/woman and a man/woman for cohabitation and often procreation”.  BE A REBEL!!! Vat en sit!!!

P.S. Always reserve the right to change your mind. Marriage is saying you never will…think about it!!!

In my humble opinion