Seven Days of Sex: Day Five PORN


 Disclaimer: I’ve been out of practice. So this might be average. I’m going to do my best to give you what you have come to expect. I’m coming back with Day 5 of Seven days of sex. PORN!!! I’m going to have fun with this post. I’m going to probably deny this in the future if I’m confronted with it…but yeah I love good (bad) porn.


I was 9 when I watched my first porno. Every day after school I’d come home to watch “The Lion King”. It was always in the VCR so I’d just press play when I got home. Little did I know pressing one button was about to corrupt me to my very core and give me my most memorable boner. SMH!!! My cousin, in his infinite wisdom, left his porno in the VCR and just like that, a porn  connoisseur was born (I’m joking I’m not that heavily invested in porn).

I’ll never forget that blonde woman with massive boobs shouting “yes yes yes” as if it was to save her life. I knew what sex was, but what the fuck was sex doing on my TV? Why was sex so naked, and loud, fleshy and greedy? Truth is I knew what I was watching was bad I had not intentions of stopping. It felt so wrong, it must’ve been right…right?


Why the fuck is there porn? I can see society going on quiet well without porn. Out of all the things we have in these modern times, porn has to be the one thing we can take away and the world will carry on perfectly fine. This withholding the fact that one third
of the content on the internet is porn. The internet is very big (I don’t know how to quantify the internet) one third is A LOT! I guess if we do take away porn the world will have unemployment issues for a while. But com’on!

So yes, why do we have porn? I could go into a whole tirade about how us humans are self destructive and we fuck everything up (which is true), but I won’t. I will however say this; everything we have in this world is here, and continues being here because it’s something that the people want. All the developments in society came about because of a certain curiosity which led to a need/want and ultimately a creation.

I think that’s the only argument I have for why there is porn, it’s very general I know. But yeah, I can’t defend the existence of porn on an intellectual level. You’ll have to excuse me.

So I’ve established why there is porn…which isn’t the most convincing reason, as solid as it is. Does this make it make it right? Is it okay that we have porn?


The Good, The Bad and The Naked

I think of porn as a vice. My feelings towards porn aren’t too different from my feelings on alcohol, cigarettes and weed. Now like alcohol, we have decent vodka like Sky and we have that rubbish “so-called” vodka Black Horse (if you’ve never heard of black horse vodka, the lord loves you has kept you safe). Black Horse is this cheap vodka students imbibe when they’re strapped for cash. It’s awful and will give you a hangover that you’ll feel in you Achilles tendon.

Sky Vodka’esque porn

This is the porn that can survive humiliation. If someone finds this stash, you can still  show face in public. This porn doesn’t
necessarily expose any kind of fetish. It is the kind of porn that couples can watch together (if you need porn in your marriage, it’s time for a divorce). No one gets slapped, gets called a dirty whore or a father. There’s usually a badly written script with equally appalling Generations worthy acting. Scenes are kept to one or two penis per scene and per orifice. This is clean porn with
good titles that could be a good Mills and Boon novel, including; Intimate Encounters, Island fantasies, Midnight Tales, Knights of BankCock etc

Black horse’esque porn

This is the kind of porn that you might never live down. If someone finds this kind of porn, you might have to do damage control and explain a lot about the kind of person you are. This is the heroin of porn. Really nasty things happen. You have people moaning/screaming/crying/begging and you’re meant to be convinced that it’s from pleasure. Oh but you have your
doubts! There is no story line, just starts with girls being asked their age etc. Constant name calling! The language is extremely vulgar. Orifice elasticity is tested to the maximum. It’s pretty fluid, coz the camera randomly gets little drops of whatever on it. And the titles are a set give away, including: Little Red Rides the Hood, Double Drill Anal Team, Anal Stories, Her First
Negro etc


Final Say 

I guess we all have different tastes. You’re allowed to be into Sky or Black horse. But all things are connected, like the kind of porn you’re into. It’s all in the shame. If you feel shameful at any point when you’re watching porn, if you feel for the poor girl being penetrated from every possible angle…then you know it’s wrong and you probably shouldn’t be watching. But if it feels right, and you feel in your heart of hearts that it’s all good…by all means watch on!


I’ve watched a lot of porn in my 20 something years on this planet….all kinds of porn black, white, lesbian, gay, shemale, amateur (Paris and Kim K), scat-fetish (2 girls 1 cup, yeah I know ewwww), hentai, gangbangs, orgies and combo of all these genres. Porn
is just something to be curious about…it’s putting sex out there in the most explicit way. It has its victims, its profits, its success (there are actually porn awards), its stars, its scandals (under age actors, STIs etc) and it has a future. Hate it or love it porn will be around for a long time.

The end…


Top Ten Reasons Why SA is the 3rd Fattest Country

10. Taxi rank cuisine.

9. Have you seen our first ladies?

8. Maggie from Isidingo

7. Anyone can get pregnant/impregnate in SA, waistlines are hardly a factor.

6. Afrikaner cuisine.

5. Alcohol

4. Fake gyming in Generations.

3. Kwaito songs calling it sexy.

2. Woolworths Food, and the illusion of how “slimming” you look in their clothes.

and the number one reason 1 South Africa is the fattest country in the world.

1. Nelson Mandela, freedom, democracy and a very liberal constitution.

This was a quick hitter. Working on a real post on a fat SA. Hope you’re all well. Hit you up later.

In my humble opinion

Generations was awesome.

Hello all, this is my first official blog on WordPress.

Starting up a blog is a mission, been trying to get my page to
look all jazzed, I gave up. This is my 3rd attempted at blogging, and hopefully
my last , crossing fingers. So many friends are tired of these blogging
episodes I get.

Anyways, inspiration hit me about an hour or so ago. I watched a
whole episode of Rhythm City. I didn’t at any point feel like lighting up a
joint so I can enjoy it (rhetoric, say no to drugs). I’m very critical of South
African soap operas, and by that I mean Generations. I cannot stand Generations
to save my fertility. Okay, so the intention of this blog was not going to bash
Generations, but I’m going to….because I can. I can because I am a hurt
black! I used to love Generations so much.

As much as its fun to make fun of the weaves and the way they
speak Engless, is there anything more insulting?  I mean really, does that not just show the
deterioration in the quality of a TV show?

Generations has always been hilarious. Remember those days Lillian
Dube and her  “Jam” quarrels with Makkie
in Soweto? Who didn’t crack up at that? That was funny. It was the intention of
the writers/producers/director.

Things were funny for a long time!
We had the antics of Sonny and Baba.

So a soap opera is a “a radio or TV series depicting the
interconnected lives of many characters often in a sentimental, melodramatic

Is Generations still giving you that?  Isn’t that what you want?

I was speaking to a friend the other day, and she told me how sick
she is of seeing Samuel going to gym, and how he still has that malume Christmas mokaba.

“As a side not, I just BBM’d another friend, to get confirmation
on Samuel going to gym. Apparently they all go to gym.” NO THEY DON’T. This
intel is flawed.  So fell free to

So much talent has been lost throughout the years. So much colour
as well. All the members of the original cast have left. Except Sophie Ndaba,
and too be quiet frankly, I’ve never been a fan. How did they lose an entire

That’s actually where I’m going to leave it, “How did they lose an
entire cast?”

Okay, because this is my first blog, I know this is a terrible way
to end a blog…or maybe it isn’t? I’ll get better at this. But I lost interest. In
this topic, and I cannot force myself to carry on.

In my humble opinion.