​Time to go


This is for my friend who forgot to follow the music.
So quick to shell’a you, so very very quick. They come at you with their guts and desires. You take them on, for whatever reason you do.

They come to know you. You give to them, and maybe they too give to you. You’re dancing like you never have.
Time passes, things dwindle. The flames quell, as they often do. The lights go on, and home whispers to you both. 
The buck now falls with you. Now you must nurse them out of what they started. Oh they’ll tell themselves a tale of two hearts:
“I’m still in love, but it needs to end, I just don’t want to cause hurt”
Filling your space with gassy lies of favour and pity, apparently for you. 
It’s strange for a while, it doesn’t feel like anything, how can it? You inhale the gasses, you lose your mind. You scramble for your stuff.
Then a time comes. They don’t have it, you must. That bravado that started this is no more. True grit is now with you. 
It’s time to go.

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Trapped


All I can do is love you.

I can’t help you with being loved.

Someone must have moved the door to you heart.

All I know is that when I got here, it wasn’t there.

A part of me dies every time you sabotage the little windows you so ungraciously try to open.

My love is weakened by pity

Every time I want to let go

You make it hurt just a little more to make me stay

Your pain, my strength, your chains

“When I’m weak …


“When I’m weak I draw strength from you
And when you’re lost I know how to change your mood
And when I’m down you breathe life over me
Even though we’re miles apart we are each other’s destiny”

This is from one of my favourite songs by Zero 7. Reminds me of all those exs of mine that I always left thinking “you will always be my baby’. Listening to this song reminds me of all of them. It reminds me that I was lucky enough to have these people in my life.

We are still each other’s destiny. I once loved you. That’s set in stone. Nothing will change that. Before I met you, you were apart of my destiny. 

 

Dull instruction, I’m out.


I’m in the process of letting go.
You’ve been trying to school me
‘If you love something, let it go’.
That’s the narrative of your lessons.

Time spent is guilt lost.
It gets better with every moment.
I used to feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
But indifference is brewing between us
It’s so comfortable…I enjoy it.

Everything is plastic
Smiles last a little longer than they should.

The good memories we shared are like rotting flowers.
New memories are just that
Most bulbs won’t open at all
It’s stillness, its so stagnant

I’m too clumsy to keep walking on eggshells. I won’t do it anymore. You clearly don’t want me to. I haven’t been paying attention. You’ve been trying to teach me something. I get it now.

Coloured glass in a leaded window

Seasons and love


How beautiful it is to see the leaves on trees dancing to the will of the wind on warm summer’s night.

To see them and have them remind me of everything we once were. Lovers swaying to love’s will.

It was divine, it was exquisite, it was us.

Now here we stand in the autumn of our relation. Chilly, but not cold.

Leaves falling. Colours turning, love changing, green to brown.

Winter is coming. Will we have another spring? Will we dance again?

image

I should be sleeping…

Your wine, my heart


image

A decanter for your feelings, my heart has come to be.  Every spill of every sorrow, I preserve and imbibe.

A vessel of your joy I’m proud to be.
You fill me with your blissful flow, with all the simple smiles you afford me.

To have your truth inside my being is an honour of a thousand lifetimes. That’s how long it took to find you.

To break for slumber


A twinkling star, an orchestra of crickets and a solemn yawn all came to bid me a goodnight’s rest. I closed my eyes, embraced my pillow,cuddled my body and into slumber I fell.

A dying wish, a gust of melancholy and an
unhinged dream stormed my peaceful slumber.

Now here I am. I lie awake, a sleepless fella…who can’t remember a lost wish, a surge of sadness and a disturbed dream. Hoping that sleep will come to me and take me back to where I need to be. In slumber, where I can forget.

Love Sands


Love sands

Love sands passing through the hour glass.

There’s a limit to your love.

What was endlessly abundant and enduring is lost with each grain.

Grains of hope and promises of permanence.

Love sands running through my hands, as I try to preserve as much as I can.

I have no control over the gaping holes in your heart.

Holes I’ve tried to fill ever so often.

Love sands of dust on the window pane of my life.

A life without vision,

Obscured by the winds of reminisce

Of you and what you are meant to be.

Love sands of debris at the floor of my heart.

A wreckage of everything that was never truly mine.

The tempest you brewed for a sadness I did not cause.

Love sands in the horizon,

Love sands I walk to

Love sands I’ll collect

Love sands that’ll weigh me down

Love sands everywhere

Love sands of you

Staccato

I’m layered and so is love


I’m layered and so is love

 

When we were young,

You liked the icing and played with the cherry

I was devoured and you had your fun

It was unhealthy and it was brief

For you did not know, I’m layered and so is love

 

There was more to you too

An undiscovered abundance I was glad to admire

I knew this from the beauty in your eyes

But I too wanted icing and cherry,

I was silly, and so were you

 

Now here we are,

Matured and experienced

Coated in regret,

Knowing of ignored potential

Content and helpless, I can feel your lament

 

Love’s losers we are

Still layered

Still love-lost

Always wanting

Never seeking

 

#ThisFluIsGoingToBeTheEndOfMe

I don’t cover my mouth when I cough


A sniff here and a cough there
Fuck me, flu is that you?
Chemically medicated
On drugs and vices, x and y

Alas my winter period has arrived
With mucus tampons up side my nostrils
I’m leaking and sore
I hate everything!

But doth I mindeth?
Dem meds be good to me
Inspiring this verse I wrote
For this damn flu.