Top Ten Reasons why your RIM BlackBerry is a 3310.

10. The big BIS button is broke.

9. This is a loyalty test.

8. Ubersocial for blackberry and the neanderthals who use it over loaded the RIM servers.

7. Steve Jobs has nothing to do with this, but whatever. Everyone is telling big jokes about this one.

6. Desmond Tutu was praying for a better world. RIM got caught in the crossfire.

5. Loyiso Gola did it! For better jokes shem. That kid is dry!!!

4. Someone in the ANC got an executive position at RIM…this what happened on day one.

3. RIM employees are Springboks supporters…depression hit hard.

2. Al Qaeda did it. When we wake up tomorrow England will be Bungra-land.

And the number one reason why your BlackBerry is a 3310,

1. Its 60 rands! The fuck did you expect for 60 rands? Sit Down!!!


Top Ten Reasons Why The Dalia Lama won’t be coming to SA

I haven’t done a Top Ten List in a very long time, I’m out of practice. Here goes nothing.


Top Ten Reasons Why The Dalai Lama won’t be coming to SA


10. The government is Catholic and the Pope is in on it. He can’t stand this guy.

9. He has an infectious disease that will kill us all.

8. No one likes Tutu. They all want the party to suck.

7. All those with BEE/Corruption sin will have fatal diarrhoea if they stand 50 meters near him.

6. The Lama banged one of Zuma’s wives.

5. He’s old; no one wants to deal with the PR of him dying here.

4. China promised to assassinate every DA member if we kept him out.

3. He’s trying to smuggle opium into the country.

2. It’s all a rouse, he doesn’t really want to come here, he just wants to make China seem even more evil.

And the number one reason why The Dalia Lama won’t be coming to SA

1. “The Dalai Lama” is not an acceptable name on official Home Affairs documents and he refuses to give up his real name, Ping Pong Thatha Pow Oh.