I May Destroy You

I admittedly struggled to get through the first episode – I didn’t know what the series was about or where the story was going – I just wanted to see more of the great Michaela Coel – I’m a huge fan. I first encountered her in an episode of Black Mirror. Then there was Chewing Gum -followed by her visceral performance in Black Earth Rising, if you haven’t already, please watch Black Earth Rising – it was there when I realised that sister has range. I’m excited to watch her career to see what else she has to offer us. 

In I May Destroy You she handles very delicate subject matter – with comedic finesse – she’s a true master of her craft – an undeniable fact as she wrote, directed and executive produced the series. The story is about a Londoner writer, Arabella, who blacks out and cannot remember the night before – turns out her drink was spiked and she was subsequently raped. I was a little teary eyed when she went to the police and they handled her case with great sensitivity – which often isn’t the case – especially in SA. 

In the midst of her dealing with the trauma of her rape – she gets involved with a fellow writer who does her dirty. Did you know that when someone takes off a condom in the middle of sex, without informing you, that that’s considered sexual assault? I don’t know about South African criminal law – but it better be illegal here too. Explicitly so! I’m pretty sure that happens all the time. 

Michaela loves her LGBT people – with the beautifully written character named Kwame – who is also sexually assaulted. Gay hookup culture has its pitfalls. It was brutal watching him trying to report his case – unfortunately Kwame wasn’t met with as much sensitivity – he reported his case to a heterosexual male officer who was unable to appreciate the nuances of gay hookup culture. There’s little sympathy for men who are sexually assaulted – I’m pretty sure the numbers are huge – so much of it goes unreported – because it’s ‘unfathomable’ that men can go through it. 

My eyes were for the first time opened to this tragic thing which happens to victims of sexual assault who are unable to report their cases and speak about their experiences. When they see other victims speaking out, naming their rapists and getting some semblance of justice, it’s almost like victim envy – a painful psychological injustice. Very isolating – it can make things worse. These victims might not get justice – but I really hope they get to speak to someone – no one should go through this alone. 

The series also handled menstruation in such an interest and powerful way. Arabella hooks up with a her drug dealer whilst she’s on her period.  He pulls out her tampon – and he was fascinated by a blood clot from her period, he was not grossed out at all. I’ve never in the history of TV seen a period handled by a man with so much positivity. I wonder how guys are handling periods these days. I must find out. 

I strongly recommend this series – it handles so many aspects of rape culture – even the people who lie and exploit others by claiming to be victims. It’s a huge education for me too- because I to see how I’ve contributed to rape culture in my formative years. From inappropriate touching, to insisting on sex – because one no is not enough – “come on baby – just the tip” and a whole lot of other things that I’m going to surely learn about the more I engage with this subject. Men have to engage with this subject exhaustively- denialism is rife. Rape is unfortunately still viewed in very narrow terms. It’s extremely pervasive and everyday men are involved in very rapey behaviour – but they wouldn’t know because they’re simply not listening. Get all your friends to watch this series. It’s going to save many people a lot of pain. 

Michaela Coel is a Goddess Boss Ass Queen – she’s doing the Lord’s work. Show her some love. 

Gomora the soapie

I’ve always had local content guilt, it’s important to support local content – so I was really happy to find Gomora. There are a few interesting and infuriating characters – mixed with the odd delicious storyline. I’m on episode 35 – so there might be spoilers if you haven’t gone that far. 

The last South African soapie I followed was Isidingo, I last watched in 2002/3 – I don’t remember exactly how plot lines in soapies are ‘suppose’ to go – they just seem to have an infinite amount of time to develop characters and storylines. I watched the first episode of Gomora and couldn’t wait for next week’s episode – until someone reminded me that soapies churn on the daily. So I’d have my little ‘Omnibus’ viewing in the weekend. When lockdown happened, I stopped watching, there was a production break, it came back and only today did realise that I was 20 plus episodes behind. I’ve caught up some. 

Let’s start with The Pearl of Bokone Bophirima, the incomparable Katlego Danke – I love her so, she’s so pretty and talented and poised – Thati on the other hand is a little trickier. The fallen from grace storyline is perfect – we’re able to both loath her when she’s being an impossible diva (with no options nogal) – and we can still have plenty of empathy for her; for essentially having a murderous mother, a heavy secret about the paternity of her first born and for having a hateful sister. What I don’t understand is the absolute lack of common sense Thati has at times. Could she really be that out of touch with reality? Slimy uncle Rodney, bailing her out for free? Her wanting a Tavern cook to greet and meet clients? Is this what trauma does? My goodness she was also just so rude with the Tavern stuff – so vulgar. I wish I knew slay queens. I’m sure they have Thati’esque stories about bo moghel who’ve seen similar flames. I also want to understand this idea of making it that big and forgetting home. I think there’s serious alcoholism in Thati’s future – watch Gladys come to the rescue. 

Melusi – lord have mercy. This might be the archetype of the model South African teacher/principle/dad – an archetype we, I suspect, glorify. Our standards are just that low – as far as present fathers go. On the surface he seems like a disciplinarian who cares deeply about his family and the future of his son. When you take a closer look, you see a patriarch’s wet dream. Whatever he has going on there with the subservient Glayds is reminiscent of the ‘good old days’. Melusi is meant to be in his early 40s – is this how married men his age carry themselves? Maybe this also speaks to my limited exposure to this archetype – I thought they went extinct with De Klerk’s administration. I’m not on Twitter, but apparently the South African patriarchy is loving Melusi and Gladys – especially with the G calling him Papa. I don’t even care for that inevitable lamza between Melusi and Thati – because Melusi is just that problematic. Word is he gets better in the next few episodes. I hope finding out about his other kid will be the growth spurt he needs. 

Gladys, oh Thembi – you’re something – I think her moment is yet to come. I don’t think we can quite fathom the exquisite pain of being with someone knowing that it’s made possible by another having rejected them. Thati’s return rocked her; which is why I was so proud of her when she wanted to leave Melusi for his unresolved puppy love issues. That whole thing was at odds with her ‘submit to your husband’ brand. I don’t understand her absolute obsession with Zodwa – can she have her son back? Gladys is what a South African mother wants for her son – she is the perfect daughter in law. I want her to cheat on Melusi though – like in a bad way ; femme fatale kinda ‘eat this pussy’ kinda cheating. I hope to experience her unravelling – I think it’ll be epic. She’s otherwise a bit of bore. Also – maybe the affair will be with Thati – farfetched, but who knows? 

Can they also introduce an LGBT character – just one. I’m thinking Teddy will be great.

Mme Sonto played by the legendary Connie Chiume. It’s always such a treat when she slaps Mazet. You feel that mpama in your soul – often just comes nje out of nowhere. She’s such a psychopath this gogo. Connie is very convincing in this role. It’s impressive how she’s able to seamlessly switch between businesswoman, thug and doting granny. Her daughters’ relationship is quite possibly a result of this dissonance. Imagine finding out that your granny is a murderous kingpin – I’d be so proud of her! It’s not a small feat in this male dominated world of crime. She probably died inside a very long time ago. I wish there was a little back story here – how she got her start in the world of crime. I bet you she totally Carol Baskin’d Thati and Pretty’s dad – I wouldn’t put it past her. I wonder what the future holds for this gogo. Maybe she gets involved with drugs, her grandkids get hooked? A turf war with a rival gang? Maybe one of her grandkids gets kidnapped?

Pretty – acid comes to mind – a hateful c**t. How can one person be so sour? They need to do more for Pretty, the only time we hear from her is when she’s spewing vitriol in Thati’s direction. Even when Thati is trying, Pretty just won’t let up. I’ve actually seen problematic sisters in action – what happens there guys? Can we blame the parents? Playing favourites might breed much resentment for a sibling – but the self-aware sister needs to do the right thing and resent the parent or just not resent at all. I’d never delight in anyones misfortune the way Pretty is in Thati’s fall from grace, never mind a sister. Hating Thati is the only thing she does – literally. Writers, give Pretty more asseblief.

The kids – I don’t have much to say about the kids. They’re a big part of the entire whole, but I’m not captivated by them to be honest. I don’t like teenagers – it’s a me thing. 

Ntokozo is yummy – really decent acting, I think – I’m distracted by the thickness of youth. He’s so thick. Like a chomp candy bar – I want to just put all of him in my mouth. 

Teddy is actually my favourite of the kids – I hate how they initially painted him as a slow learner. It was so exaggerated – he was as dense as a funeral scone.  Being the son of Zodwa has fortified him in vulnerability and empathy. He’s such a beautiful soul uTeddy. His insecurities are also so relatable. 

Langa is sweet – I wonder if they wrote him like that because of who his real daddy is. 

Buhle can honestly eat a D – what a contemptible young woman – maybe there’s hope. 

Special mentions

Zodwa – I love her to bits! She’s a mama bear to the core. I hope she comes right with her Teddy and addiction. Why are alcoholics always so lovable? 

Uncle Rodney – perfectly slimy! Vusi Kunene came through in a big way. So well done! 

Detective Kholisi – Zzzzzzz boo! Luke warm! So average.

I’m excited to see where the writers of Gomora are going to take us – looking forward to meeting new characters. Thati’s move out of the hood maybe? Mazet taking over the crime syndicate? Anything is possible – it’s worth a watch this show. Give it a go.