18 Things We Should Have Been Taught As Teenagers


Thought Catalog

1. Hard work will not always equate to success. You can put up a good fight and still lose. There are just some things that, for whatever reason, we have to carry with us.

2. There will probably come a day when you want to study something that has (seemingly) no future benefit. Study it anyway. There will probably come a day when you want to be with someone who you know won’t last forever. Love them anyway. There will probably come a day when you want to leave something, or someone, and instead of looking for a reason, you should let that wanting be enough. Go anyway.

3. You shouldn’t ever assume to know the truth about someone. Addiction doesn’t always look like a drug-addled homeless person on the street, mental illness isn’t always apparent, pain does not always read across a person’s demeanor. Don’t judge people on the…

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From A Guy’s Perspective: 9 Things We Want Out Of A Relationship


Thought Catalog

Friday Night Lights

1. Someone Who Gets Us In The Weird Ways

Not on like a deep, sappy emotional level. That too I guess, but really just someone who understands that we hate it when people have to mention the fact that they liked the book better than the movie, or that we don’t like it when people stand up on airplanes the second the plane lands.

It’s the acknowledgement of those little things that makes it not so much as relationship as it does a really fun time with someone who’s fun to hang out with. Speaking of…

2. Someone That’s Ridiculously Fun To Hang Out With

I would say this is by far the most important thing. Great looks are nice and physical attraction obviously helps, but looks alone are exactly like having a tricked out car that breaks down after a few weeks — good for a few rides, then…

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While Wearing Their Pretty Dresses, They Ruined Lives: 12 Years A Slave & the Role of White Women in Slavery


Olivia A. Cole

Image

I saw 12 Years A Slave this weekend. Aside from crying uncontrollably for about 80% of the film—not an exaggeration: please take a box of tissue to the theater if you see it—I was struck by many things the film did in its portrayal of the institution of slavery and the people that upheld it. For starters, I think a spectacularly effective job was done in imparting the terrifying helplessness and profound unfairness of the system: long moments of silence juxtaposed with instances of extreme violence emphasized the normalcy of brutality; the environment that black children were raised in and alongside, an environment in which their parents and elders were subject to torture, degradation, and murder. That was life, 12 Years informs us. A life in which a child can play tag alongside a man hanging from his neck by a tree…because there was nothing that could be done…

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7 Ways To Pull Yourself Out Of A Quarter-Life Crisis


Thought Catalog

1. Admit it sucks.  

Say it out loud; a Quarter-Life Crisis is a #BagOfDicks. It’s an anxious period in a 20-somethings life where you’re directionless and spiritually you don’t know your head from your butt. One moment you’re breaking necks and cashing checks, the next you can’t find the initiative to construct a cheese sandwich. Sure, a Quarter-Life Crisis is typically a #FirstWorldProblem but it’s your drama; just accept that IT BLOWS.

2. Reach out to older people.

Put up your hand to the folk in your life who are at least a decade or more your senior and let them know. Um, hello, I feel as though I know what to do next in life. I’m lost. Know what I’m saying? Chances are they’ve been there alright – numerous times (there will be a few of these crises, hate to break it to you). An older person can…

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This ‘Royals’ Cover About The Realities Of Being In Your 20s Is Incredibly Accurate (And Hysterical)


Thought Catalog

This girl covers Lorde’s Royals and changes the lyrics to talk about the bleak realities of being 10 years out of high school. We laugh because if we don’t, we’ll cry. [tc-mark]

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Trapped


All I can do is love you.

I can’t help you with being loved.

Someone must have moved the door to you heart.

All I know is that when I got here, it wasn’t there.

A part of me dies every time you sabotage the little windows you so ungraciously try to open.

My love is weakened by pity

Every time I want to let go

You make it hurt just a little more to make me stay

Your pain, my strength, your chains

When heroes die


So I’ve been procrastinating to get a television, and today, it just hit me. I could’ve missed the coverage of when our dear Madiba passed on. I instantly felt awful for my slight apathy at the height of his awful illness.

Then I recalled a golden memory from my childhood.

The morning Princess Diana passed away, I threw the biggest tantrum, it was epic, got me out of church. So naturally, I chilled and watch tv. And there it was, the paparazzi dun killed The Princess of Wales And Hearts And Great Suits And Hair. I found myself calling the church to ask them to find my mother, because Diana is dead. Looking back, I don’t remember if I even cared for Diana or not, but I knew she was a giant in the world. It’s was a huge deal. The scenes on telly were incredibly emotional. People were broken.

Then I remember how we had a tape of Oliver Tambo or/and Chris Hani’s funerals. Again, it was a huge deal.

Then I remembered when Whitney and Michael died. It was all over the place. We were shattered. Whiteny’s funeral brought the word and mighty praise of our Lord Jesus to the devil that is CNN. Millions (or billions), watched and we all mourned the world’s very own song bird.

Pardon my crassness, but we will lose our shit when (I want to say if, but death is death) Tata dies. There are no words to describe the man he is. He embodies the power of the human spirit. He is a hero because that is his power. I really can’t say more. There really are no words. I’ve listened to many an interview with Mandela. He just resonates everything good.

Sometimes I just wish the story of his illness was kept private. There is just so much money to be made from his death and the vultures are just circling (Gedleyhlekisa, I am talking about you) and I suppose Mandla too? I’m not clued up on what that psycho is doing; the tomb raider headline made me tired me.

Post script
• Actually, someone call The Vatican, get a man canonised! Saint Madiba has a good ring to it.
• I wish Brenda and Mariam were here for this. Brenda, especially, was going to get her shit together and perform the shit out of a jam for Tata.
• Who are these people who are going kill the white people when Tata dies? Please don’t. If you really want them gone, put them on ships and sending them packing like they came. I kid. Leave white people alone.
• On white people. I met this political radical the other day, it was very unfortunate. He said something so scary to me: “The white man taught us his language and his ways so that we can take instructions. This was an investment he made a long time ago, it keeps growing over time, and we don’t even see it.” This scarred the shit out of me. Thoughts?
• So Mandla, The Tomb Raider…you’re embarrassing yourself! (I’m sure I’ll still feel the same once I actually read up on what exactly you were doing digging graves.)
• I’m sorry for cussing and talking about Tata at the same time.
• Happy Friday everyone

Top Ten Jobs For People Who Hate People


So I have this buddy, Zethu, who doesn’t like people. Scratch that, she hates people. I thought about it, I don’t know many of my friends who actually like people. And there seems to be a trend accross careers. Yes, I don’t know people from all professions. But hell I’m going to go for it. So here is my list of the top ten jobs for people who hate people.

10. Call centre agents
I was one for 2 months. Calling people and having them reject you no matter how polite you are. Humans seem to have more confidence on the phone than in real life. Really makes you see society for what it is. Makes you hate them.

9. Engineers
Most of them don’t even have people skills to speak of. The ones I know, I knew. That’s saying enough.

8. Teachers
“Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t teach, teach gym.” – Woody Allen in Annie Hall. Need I say more? They find “a calling”, but really, they couldn’t do it themselves, and because they know how not to, they can help us all get there. Whilst hating us all along the way.

7. Taxi drivers
Sigh! Somewhere in the course of history, either the passengers or the taxi drivers started this hate. Either way, the taxi drivers came up tops. Their hate is standard and constant. When you step into a taxi, your life is immediately in danger. From the strikes they cause, to inconvenience you, to the absolute disregard for traffic laws to make more money. Taxi drivers hate people.

6. Prostitutes in Arab/Islamic/terrorist harbouring countries
The poor souls are in fear of their lives all the damn time, and they have a job to do. A classic case of working under dangerous conditions. The conditions are however because people don’t eat bacon. Some might even say that they hate people so much, that they’re doing this job to spite them.

5. Politicians
They lie, they cheat, they steal. All this in the name of creating a better future for all. The best ones do it in the name of Jesus Christ Our Lord And Saviour. They get money from the rich and promise to protect them from the poor. They get votes from the poor and promise them to distribute all the wealth that the rich possess. One needs to hate people to do this, successfully, every day…as a job.

4. Hip-Hop musicians
Their lyrics are an IQ dropper. They are worse than drug dealers. Their sole intention is to dumb it down and get paid. They thrive on the insecurities of men and women. They, themselves, are projecting their insecurities through what they call music. The hate in the music is quite obvious. They call other people, who are not like them stupid whores all the time. They don’t even like each other, always shading each other. Hateful people in general.

3. Everyone who works at a hair salon
This I purely blame on the hair products. The chemicals in those products are extremely harmful to love ever seeing and appreciating love. Most of them are single and bitter because of the chemically induced paranoia. Best know, when you walk out of a hair salon, awful things will be said about you. This group we must pity. I advise them all to wear masks at work. If you don’t believe me, watch one episode of Jersey what what.

2. Cult leaders
“Loneliness is not cured by human company. Loneliness is cured by contact with reality.” Cult leaders make a career out of absolutely drawing people as far away from reality as possible. They cut you from your friends, your family, TV, booze…essentially everything you enjoy. When it’s all said and done, they trick you into killing yourself so that you can get onto the mother-ship to Sector T9. This must come from an acute hate of humans.

And the number one job for people who hate other people.

1. Doctors
Most of my people are doctors. In varsity the all complained about how rough become a doctor is. I used to tell them to shut up. I mean if you’re learning the skills that will save human lives you must get that it will come at a very heavy premium. But alas the premium has finished them. The burden of it all has torn my doctor friends apart. Most want to run away from it. In all honesty, I blame it on the patients. They have no business being sick in the first place. Most of the time it’s because of humans being irresponsible. They see this every day, and every day they think “why human?” Why don’t you just commit suicide and be done with it. Now I have to fix you and deal with the possibility of failing.

Ergo, they hate people.

Disclaimer
I’m glad I’m in the profession I am in. Auditing! We love everyone. We are for humanity!

Top Ten Reason Why I Had To Leave Work 4 Hours Early


It’s one of those Fridays guys! I want to make a run for it so badly. I’m just not feeling today’s movement. Here are a few excuses I wish I had at my disposal.

10. I thought the build was on fire, by the time I realised it wasn’t, I was already on the highway.

9. There was load shedding on my laptop. Eskom has it out for me.

8. My girlfriend/boyfriend was threatening suicide if I didn’t come home.

7. Fuck you I got a new job.

6. My watch is 4 hours ahead, I totally forgot, so sorry.

5. I’m allergic to traffic. It can kill me, I barely made it this morning.

4. I’m a Gupta…

3. I left my bedroom door unlocked, my Gremlin was going to get exposed to sunlight and die.

2. I was here in spirit. I don’t understand what the problem is.

And the number one reason I had to leave work 4 hours early.

1. Apartheid is over, deal with it!

The DA made a controversial statement. Knowing fully well that blacks would get excited. I am said excited black. No one cares how honourable the intentions were. They MUST have known that a black like me (and many others) would get excited! Stop exciting blacks, because you want some air time on the interwebs.

Dating Rambo, Whatsapp and Being Ignored


This is an empathy blog post, I’ve heard this story many many times. I was having a conversation with Quest. She was telling me about a guy who’s just acting up for no reason, especially since no one asked him to act down in the first place.

 

If you’re a 20 something year old doing his/her own thing, this has probably happened to you before. I used to do this, but it got done to me, so I think it’s inhuman to do this to another mother’s child (yes, we must think of how people have mothers, and how they’d just bleed if they knew their children were being treated so badly). So I don’t do it anymore. Here’s the deal.

 

And so it starts. One of your friends has the best idea in the world. It usually starts like this: “I know this great guy’. You’re not particularly busy, so it’s chilled, you go along with it. It starts with whatsapp and if you’re lucky, or not, it’s followed by a date. The whatsapp conversations are nothing ground breaking, but you can survive them. You figure that you’re interesting and have things to tell someone, either then twitter and your friends. So you decide, fine, I’ll tell this here niglet things. Then you get comfortable, because somehow that’s just how it happens. Inside of you grows a comfortable excitement, still nothing to write home about, but you do happen to smile about it whenever.

 

A few days later, you go on a date. It’s a good laugh, it could easily be a scene from a B rate romcom. But you’re smart, so your expectations are again left unchanged. Then, this person wants to be dating Rambo at the end of the date. “This was great! I’m so glad that I finally met you. Wow! You’re so amazing! You’re like the best date I’ve been on in eons. We should totally do this again”. For a moment, your ego is on spinning rims. You tell a few friends, your voice goes up a few octaves. But again, you’re smart. You calm down. You get home and check whatsapp…no messages from Rambo…

 

You send a standard message, polite, breezy, chilled, informal and just generally oozing of etiquette, to comment on the date. Mind you, not because you’re ‘trying something’, because that’s what people do after a date. You go to sleep. And wake to “Yeah sure, it was great! Have a good day.”

 

You think to yourself: “Um…what is this now?”. But now there’s a script! So you follow it, “Will do you too.”

 

A day later, dating Rambo is quiet, and you have interesting things to say. You know it’s pretty much over, and he’s just not that into you, but he’s a human being right? So you say hello, and ramble on about something. There he goes, tweeting up a storm and 3 hours he replies. By now the fat lady has sung all the numbers in Mama Mia, she’s done! It’s over. Nothing is ever going to happen between you and dating Rambo. And you’re cool with it. BUT HE IS A HUMAN BEING. So than it starts.

 

You say hello, when whatsapp says he’s online. Literally, 2 seconds later, he’s “last seen”. “Is he putting his phone down because I said hello? What the hell is this bull now?”. 10 minutes later he’s back, not to reply to your hello mind you. So you think “Oh hell no! TF kinda goldfish memory does this one think I have? Does he think I forgot that I said hello to me?” Why is he doing this? You hold back all the crazy that’s brewing, until it all just goes away.

 

10 days later…you’re completely over it. But you have to holla at Obi…because you’re not too sure what happened. Obi’s response. “I have no fucking clue!!!”.

 

But I did learn a few weeks ago that there are studies that suggest that being ignored sends signals to your brain, that closely resemble physical pain. So people just want to hurt you sometimes. That’s the only logical explanation I have for why dating Rambo exists.