Here comes the bride, and she has a pen…


A dear friend of mine is getting married. Today I told my friend exactly what I thought of marriage. I don’t think she was impressed with me. Here’s what I said to her.


Love is a miracle, marriage is a contract. Let’s not get confused. Marriage is for tax benefits, a great party and the practical convenience of a binding agreement. What we are really excited about is love and a lekker party. 

Getting married does not guarantee, companionship, sharing, caring etc. Love guarantees these things.

Marriage guarantees tax benefits, shared legal liability, power of attorney… 

Remind me of this when I get married too. So I don’t forget that above all else I’m in love!’ *end quote*

Now I feel like I’ve upset her and I’m going to sit at the table close to the toilet. Or maybe I won’t be invited to the wedding at all. Lol! But this is an opinion I had to express. And, I suppose, a less than humble side of me felt like I am wise and this wisdom had to be shared. In all honesty I didn’t think I was saying anything that isn’t true.

LGBT activists are fighting for marriage equality because of all the statutory benefits that come with marriage, that they otherwise wouldn’t have if they merely happily live together. That just proves that it’s a social structure meant to make life easier. And every one should have that. 

I’m going to get married someday or maybe not. I don’t know. I’ll be comfortable anyway. 

All I know for sure is that I want to love and be loved. I want love and permanence in one person. No wedding ceremony or  nuptial agreement will guarantee me that. My character and the character of the love of my life will.

Postscript 

  • Maybe, just maybe, marriage is daunting enough and no one needs to here Obi’s opinions.
  • I want to hear people say I want to be in requited love, rather than hear them say ‘I want to get married.’
  • A lot of my peers are getting married lately. Tis the season for realz. 
  • I’d totally get married for the hell of it. Like all them dumb famous people. 
  • Before marriage and religion, there was love. No one created love, someone put it inside of us. Marriage and religion were decided on by a few people who were lucky enough to make it on earth before me!
  • I really hope I still have a wedding to go to!
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About obialone
I'm random and unwise. I'm always seeking wisdom in its simplest form. I'm scared of not being scared, so I find ways to terrify myself. I care about everything, and I'm interested in all things. I reserve the right to change my mind, anytime. So in most cases I find it best to humble my opinion

2 Responses to Here comes the bride, and she has a pen…

  1. zethu says:

    Interesting article, I’m reading a book about commitment, it hit a nerve..Guess what I read… Companionship and all those lovely things you listed are only guarenteed if love lasts and as we all know this “love” is fleeting. Secondly there’s a part in the book where she talks about “jumping the broom”, and the LGBT fighting for marriage. She talks about this innate need to be bonded to someone, people were prepared to marry without the legitimacy of a certificate. I think it might be something a little stronger than love, something spiritual. Even a skeptic like me can’t avoid it.LOL

    • obialone says:

      Ah yes! I get you. I should’ve elaborated on it further. The lekker party! That’s the commitment ceremony. ‘A thing of beauty is a joy forever’…a wedding is just that.

      We must look at marriage as we’ve seen in our times. High divorce rates, gross infidelity…this I believe, happens because ppl think of themselves as married first and not as in love.
      The words, ‘husband wife’ often describe a relation and not a relationship. I just feel like love is dying Zethu.

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