The thing about my baby it don’t matter if you’re black or white. Or does it…


Last night I had a conversation with my buddy and she mentioned that she likes white boys. I’ve had friends who’ve dated outside their races, but I’ve never had someone actually own up to it as a staple. This got me thinking about dipping into vanilla and maybe even caramel and cinnamon, never custard or malva pudding though. *insert appropriate races*

I once had a conversation with a seemingly open minded (she drinks, smokes, does coke and weed and hangs out with young people of all races) lady in her forties. I asked her if she’d ever had any choc (or others, see above) lovin’, she coolly replied no. She said it’s something she’s never been interested in. Then she said, maybe it’s because of the way she was raised. No idea why she’d bring that up, considering she grew up as a white person in apartheid South Africa. But whatever, that’s a different post altogether. Point is here’s this woman in her forties, she’s travelled everywhere, she’s done so many interesting things in her life; most of them would give my dead grandmother another stroke. She loves all people, but she’s never shagged outside her race. Looking back I wish I’d probed her further, but that comment on how she was raised put me off completely.

So what is it then? The only times I’ve dipped outside my race, was when I was extremely inebriated. Even then, it was never a full dip. More like a “oh, look at that our lips touched…let’s make them un-touch”. Well there was this other time I might or might not have gone all the way…one of those nights, if I don’t remember it doesn’t count right? For the record, I’m a very different person now. #thingsinmyyouth I’ve never consciously targeted or thought of deviating from my race. Right now, I can’t even decide if I’ve ever even been attracted to someone outside my race. Sure it would be interesting to tap a hot piece of white ass…but is that what I want?

Now let’s talk about the relationships.

Interracial relationships are made hard by cultural differences. A relationship is hard enough. It’s easier when you’re both born and bred in Sandton I guess. The challenges are much greater when Parkhurst is dating QwaMashu (rural KZN). Dating is one thing, but a relationship is a whole different animal. You’re in a relationship with a person’s whole life. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll find that your friends and family are receptive. Political correctness and walking on eggshells…I feel like interracial relationships thrive on one person’s race (the race the couple hangs out with most) being more dominant, depending on who can provide less awkwardness etc .

Bringing a legoa (white person) into my mother’s house on some “yeah mom…this is who I’m going to marry” it would be interesting to say the least. I’ve always said that I’ll try everything once. This of course limited to crystal-meth and the likes. I told my friend that this year I want to date someone who likes doing out doorsy things. I want to go hiking, camping and fishing this year with my lover. Her response “Then you might just have to cross over to the white side”. So I guess I’m putting it out there, I will entertain jungle fever this year.

P.S. Dear black women, here’s some food for thought. White women don’t complain about white men like y’all do about negroes. This is why white women often remarry after their divorces. Find you a Ryan or a Jacques, if tooooooooo many Siphos, Thabos and Mandlas have shown you flames. Look at Halle Berry, she aint never dating a negro ever again!!!

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About obialone
I'm random and unwise. I'm always seeking wisdom in its simplest form. I'm scared of not being scared, so I find ways to terrify myself. I care about everything, and I'm interested in all things. I reserve the right to change my mind, anytime. So in most cases I find it best to humble my opinion

7 Responses to The thing about my baby it don’t matter if you’re black or white. Or does it…

  1. Tiger says:

    Aaaah! So well written my friend! And you really hit the nail on the head with the statement of one race being the more dominant one and having to hang in those circles!

    Also maybe white women don’t complain, because they may settle or maybe a little more submissive than some black sisters? And black women may not remarry as frequently as the white women maybe because they don’t settle? Or on the flipside white women are more hopeful of finding love after being hurt countless times? I don’t know… Just a thought.

    And yes, dating and being in an actual relationship are two different things. My sentiments so far: men are all the same. Chocolate, cinnamon, caramel… It’s all just different flavours. They all have their flaws and strengths. Make your pick

    • obialone says:

      That actually might be it hey, white women can be very submissive. I don’t agree about settling…sisters settle hard! That’s probably why they won’t submit after the fact, coz they’re already giving up so much.

      A part of me really thinks that african men were truly not made for monogamy though, that’s what differentiates them from western men. Polygamy was something that was celebrated until the missionaries came.

  2. lazerboy says:

    Really interesting read. But you don’t provide reasons as to why you haven’t dated outside the race, I mean you have a lot of friends who are not black!!!
    And your article seems to be prejudice against black men, there are great reasons why black man are the way they are:
    1. We underestimate what colonisation did, it broke the black family. So instead of the black man being the “provider” he became the hustler. Always hustling to survive, hustling their own lives and being a hustle some what because the world expects something that is hard for him to deliver, which brings me to the next point…
    2.The black guy doesn’t have a lot of role models. In a world where advertising has become a part of the natural landscape, there are very few successful black men that are shown. This coupled with not having an active dad in his life, magnifies the problem of him emulating being a man to his partner, he would not know what it’s like to treat a woman as a lover…
    3.Unfortunately the cycle continues, and the black man keeps doing the same sin as his fore fathers…

    But in no way does this mean all black man suffer from this.. Will Smith, Denzel Washington, Barrack Obama, Thabo Mbeki, my dad and others have been not only successful black men, but also wonderful partners to their wives…

    • obialone says:

      I don’t know why I haven’t dated outside my race. I really don’t. I guess not enough opportunities have presented themselves.
      I’m sorry if it seems like I’m anti black men this is not what this post was about. My post-script was in jest.

  3. Aybeeoh says:

    Good food for thought, Obi and some interesting comments from Lazerboy. I think I’d agree with the statement that it’s possibly because the opportunity has not presented itself to you. I’m pretty open minded and custard and malva pudding are quite acceptable to me and – dare I say – somewhat exotic. Living in custard capital, however, I’ve found that the feeling may not be mutual regarding chocolate. Bottom line, we have a long way to go to unlearn our latent prejudices. But, entertaining the thought it certainly a start.

    • obialone says:

      Abo, don’t you think its also okay not at all to want to swing that way? I don’t see the negativity in not wanting to try exotic cuisine. We’re talking sexual attraction, not racial bias.

      • Aybeeoh says:

        Certainly. Nothing negative at all about not swinging that way. But I think there is an element of racial bias though. Maybe not racism, but we date or are attracted to what we’re used to – what is most like us. For example, I had this Thai friend in high school who said he doesn’t find black women particularly attractive because of the hair. In his mind’s eye. An attractive woman had to have long flowy hair that he could run his fingers through.

        But is really as clear cut as saying I prefer chocolate cake to vanilla ice cream when it comes to sexual attraction between people? I think the combination of both is awesome, by the way – and I am talking about the food this time 😀

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