Seven Days of Sex, Day One


 This wasn’t as easy as thought it would be. I have, however, managed to piece together a few things.

It’s all about pleasure. And how do we have pleasure?  You have to absolutely want it. In wanting pleasure, there is no room for uncertainty and insecurities. Sexual pleasure, I find, comes from doing the simplest of things. You don’t need to be pulling fancy missions you saw in a porn movie. Those are trained professions, you’ll hurt yourself. Yeah, porn movies should actually come with a WWE “Don’t try this at home message”. Don’t be a hero. It’s okay to be kinky, go for it. But do it with caution. Kinky is using a feather, fetish is bringing in the whole chicken, Chantelle Hulett.

I have never insisted on anything fancy in my pursuit for pleasure. I believe in keeping it primal and hungry. Hunger is key; again “You have to absolutely want it.”

“It was only a kiss, how did it end up like this”

It all starts with a kiss. If it doesn’t you’re either damaged or being raped. Lawd bless a good kiss. The best ones actually make me light-headed. People underestimate the power of a good kiss. If you messed up there, chances are its game over for you.

A few simple guildlines to kissing

  • Never kiss ANYONE who kisses with their eyes open. Such people hate their parents and cannot be trusted.
  • Tongue and lips are not polony in a bun. You’re not trying to eat.
  • Be soft and engaging.
  • Kissing is NOT an excavation, you’re not looking for traces of popcorn.
  • You don’t need lube, cap your saliva at 1 milligram.
  • The lips are flavoured. Flavour can be released by sucking gently.

“Sex is like a box of chocolate”

You’ll never know what you’ll get. If sex is the chocolate, foreplay is the box. The anticipation, the want before the need. I once tweeted “Foreplay is what separates us from the animals”. I can’t express enough how much I believe in this. When a lion is about to chase after a Springbok, it doesn’t stretch or warm up or nothing…it just goes. Us as humans are not the same. We need to stretch and warm up. I think this is what for play is, stretching and warming up. Those few times you surprise yourself during sex (I’m a pretzel), can sometimes be due to really good foreplay.

But then there are those people…who want to foreplay like that is all you’re there for (worsting your time). Don’t over-foreplay, be kind to the box holding your chocolates. Someone said “You can never have enough foreplay” I called bullshit, coz we’re not virgins, and we have things to do. It gets boring and tedious if you over shoot it.

“Main course”

You’ve gotten this far. No point in turning back now. You’ve put in all that hard work, it’s time to let desire take the wheel. If you’re not in for a bumpy ride…go home.

You know how they saying the most important thing in operating your business is LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION? With sex its LET GO, LET GO, LET GO. You’ve worked through the kissing and the foreplay, your inhibitions should be a distant memory at this point. If they’re not, feel free to foreplay some more…or go home.

I say “go home” a lot because really, you don’t need to be having sex you don’t want or are not sure about. I can’t stress this enough.

At this point you must be willing to be completely honest with yourself and what you want, or you’ll leave unsatisfied. You’ll also be leaving the other person feeling very inadequate. Sex is about physical conversation. Actions really do speak louder than words. Sex is a freaken boom box!!! You need to speak up. Avoid speaking though…only when people are venturing into foreign countries without the correct documentation can you actually SAY, “Um yeah…the government doesn’t want you there.”

This is very important, because people do tend to want things that aren’t on the menu. Always speak up and be sure to mention what the specials are. Remember, you’ll only get what you want if you speak up!!! If you’re not speaking up, you’re kinda being selfish. Again, you don’t want to leave the other person feeling inadequate.

Go for gold. Get yours. Offer stuff.

“Ai, Oi Oi Oi, Ooooooh, Ah”

So it’s over now. It’s still about pleasure. Some people find joy and pleasure in cuddling, some don’t. Depending on how sensitive you are towards the other person’s feelings, you can go home or stick around. Use your discretion. You just had SEX, don’t be to worried about admin. Personally I don’t think people should have sex if they can’t deal with other people’s inabilities/unwillingness to do what they expect them to do afterwards. At this point you are justified to do whatever it is you want. Just don’t be cruel about it.

I think this is a good place to stop. I kinda had fun writing this.

Looking forward to Day Two: Drugs, Booze and Sexy Time.


About obialone
I'm random and unwise. I'm always seeking wisdom in its simplest form. I'm scared of not being scared, so I find ways to terrify myself. I care about everything, and I'm interested in all things. I reserve the right to change my mind, anytime. So in most cases I find it best to humble my opinion

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